1-2-3-4

Okay so yesterday I went and interviewed one of the demonstrating fir trees. Their slogan is "1-2-3-4, we can't bear it anymore, 5-6-7-8, the forest will retaliate!" The spokestree said we should leave them be and buy fake trees, or change that tradition for a less barbaric one. "Don't you like being decorated?" I asked, and he said that the decorating thing is okay, but we shouldn't fell them. "But then again, he added in hushed tones, look how big-headed that one got by being the center of attention! He wasn't half as big when they brought him here...".
Before I left he said "if a tree falls in a forest, do you know why no one can hear it?"
"No"
"Because of the chainsaw!"
With lines like that, that one could probably run for president...