People seem to have an extremely low pain tolerance when it comes to relationships.
Apparently, a break-up is necessarily traumatic, and it can only go from sad at best to violent and unbearable at worst. And wherever you end up on that scale, building a true friendship and thinking of the separation as a positive experience is simply not something a human being is able to do - along with growing wings and flying away or breathing underwater.
The only two options, it seems, are either hating and despising your ex, or spending your time worshipping an icon of him/her, both until you are "ready to move on," weeks, months, or years afterwards.
My aim is not to dwell on the specifics of my experiences, but I am starting to wonder which planet I come from. To me things happen when they must, and everything is always good, in the end.
It can be hard for several days, the time it takes you to "readjust" yourself to a new situation, to question what you thought to be true. But really, every single experience makes you learn about yourself, about others, so what is it with all the bitterness ? Why do so many people think that forgiving an ex is either weird or courageous ? It is nothing but the most relieving thing, it frees you from pain and anxiety and fear. It is a favor you do to yourself.
I suppose all the people who tell me that's impossible sacralize either their relationship or themselves. Or maybe it is plain fear of being alone. But come on, death, illness, accidents, loss, violence: there is more than enough to worry about in this world, without waiting for years before "moving on" after a relationship. Life is not going to wait, is it ?
Someone even told me once I was emotionless (!). I think maybe I just come from Planet Perspective...
Apparently, a break-up is necessarily traumatic, and it can only go from sad at best to violent and unbearable at worst. And wherever you end up on that scale, building a true friendship and thinking of the separation as a positive experience is simply not something a human being is able to do - along with growing wings and flying away or breathing underwater.
The only two options, it seems, are either hating and despising your ex, or spending your time worshipping an icon of him/her, both until you are "ready to move on," weeks, months, or years afterwards.
My aim is not to dwell on the specifics of my experiences, but I am starting to wonder which planet I come from. To me things happen when they must, and everything is always good, in the end.
It can be hard for several days, the time it takes you to "readjust" yourself to a new situation, to question what you thought to be true. But really, every single experience makes you learn about yourself, about others, so what is it with all the bitterness ? Why do so many people think that forgiving an ex is either weird or courageous ? It is nothing but the most relieving thing, it frees you from pain and anxiety and fear. It is a favor you do to yourself.
I suppose all the people who tell me that's impossible sacralize either their relationship or themselves. Or maybe it is plain fear of being alone. But come on, death, illness, accidents, loss, violence: there is more than enough to worry about in this world, without waiting for years before "moving on" after a relationship. Life is not going to wait, is it ?
Someone even told me once I was emotionless (!). I think maybe I just come from Planet Perspective...
2 comments:
for me,when thing comes to such a stage as 'break-up',i will simply seek refuge in writing,literally i 'scribble away' my past.
I've never done that but I think that's great -- turning your pain or sorrow or anger into a creative energy...
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